


Chasing Forever

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform, Romance, Sakumoto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 19:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew he shouldn’t have agreed on doing this segment, most especially after the producers had told them that they have to film themselves (“Wildlife adventures, you haven’t done that, right? I’m sure the fans will love it!”) while they trekked the forest on their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kinoface](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinoface/gifts), [shinigamiami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinigamiami/gifts).



> o after 2 weeks (or was it 3?) this monster is finally done! *does the victory dance* Unbetaed, so of course, there’ll be tons of mistakes (sorry about that) and the usual ending which is just too lame (forgive me!) I wrote this after the 30th time reading aeslis’ MUJINTOU, a wonderful, wonderful Ohmiya fic that centered around Ohno and Nino being stranded in a deserted island. If you haven’t read it, well, what the hell are you waiting for?! Go read it NOW!

1.

 

He should have known this wasn’t going to go well.

 

Well, it wasn’t like he had foreseen this particular catastrophe – he didn’t – it was just that somewhere from the back of his mind he was afraid something like this could happen, and when it did, he couldn’t even find the strength to tell himself _I told you so_.

 

Not when he was pretty sure he was lost in the middle of a fucking forest, without means of contacting anyone for help and with only his camping bag and a small jug of water as his means of survival.

 

Fuck.

 

He knew he shouldn’t have agreed on doing this segment, most especially after the producers had told them that they have to film themselves (“Wildlife adventures, you haven’t done that, right? I’m sure the fans will love it!”) while they trekked the forest on their own.

 

The problem here was halfway through their supposed wildlife adventure, he realized he had lost his map, his guide, and stupidly, also his partner.

 

The distinct sounds of some howling animal made him turn, missing the sounds of footsteps coming from behind him as he stumbled to back away, cringing.

 

“Found your way yet, Sakurai-san, or --?” the newcomer greeted him through clenched teeth, and he didn’t know whether to be thankful that someone had found him.

 

Most especially because out of so many people, it had to be Matsumoto Jun.

 

2.

 

He was going to kill Aiba Masaki.

 

“He’s what?!” he howled in a sudden fit of rage and frustration, kicking at the rock he almost stumbled upon and cursing it to the moon and back when the impact of his kick sure hurt like a bitch. It was almost dark, and if not for the fact that Jun was at least here to keep him company, he probably had gone insane by now.

 

They were divided into two teams – he and Aiba were supposed to head on towards the southern part of this forest, while Jun and Ohno would head on to the opposite direction. Nino was to stay behind since he’d be in-charge of the MC job this time around (though he was pretty sure Nino did bribe the producers just so he’d be off-the-hook from this endless walking and could play his games while his bandmates worked their asses off, while trying their hardest not to die). He’d lost Aiba an hour after they departed from their starting point – Aiba told him he needed to pee and ran off finding a safe (and somewhat hidden) place to finish his business; that was three hours ago.

 

And Jun just told him that Aiba kind of lost his way, had kind of walked around till he ended up trekking the way back to where the staffs were and took a nap with Nino; Jun and Leader arrived a little over half an hour since Aiba came back and kind of told them he’d lost Sho.

 

So all in all, the bastard kind of left him to himself while he made himself comfortable back in the van, eating their supposed dinner when he got hungry and played Nino’s PSP while Nino filmed his segment.

 

“I am so going to kill him the next time I see him!” he growled furiously.

 

Jun chuckled from where he was walking ahead of him, squinting at the path they were walking along and stubbornly refusing to use his flashlight unless it’s completely necessary; he kind of wondered if stumbling on his feet more times than he’d actually been walking straight didn’t count as necessary (since it’s almost dark) but he kept that thought to himself in fear of getting verbally trashed after he’d said his thoughts out loud.

 

“W-Where are we going?” he asked after a few minutes, finally giving up trying to watch where he’s stepping and simply praying each time his feet landed against the patch of dirt to please save him from getting bitten by wild, crawling animals, most especially _snakes_. Snakes. Jesus.

 

Jun threw him a glance and shrugged. “Some place where we can spend the night without getting spotted by wild animals – not good if we end up as their dinner, don’t you think?”

 

Certainly not, but did he have to mention that possibility while smirking? “Matsumoto-san, I would very much willing to compliment you and your seldom try at dry humor but not at times like these when the possibility of us getting mauled by a bear or something even bigger than that is at its highest, so if you could please just get us the fuck away from here to where it’s safe, I’ll be very grateful, really.” He mumbled darkly, hoping it’d somehow get the message across.

 

He’s scared and frankly, this wasn’t the time to act all brave-like when the chances of not getting out of this alive beats the possibility of getting home unscathed rather badly.

 

“I am pretty sure there’s no such animal living in this side of the forest, Sho-san, so you can put your mind to ease,” Jun stated around one of his mega-watt smiles. Sho thankfully stopped his hand just in time before his brain commanded it to take a swing and hit his bandmate in the face.

 

“For the love of all that’s holy, Matsumoto-san, this isn’t the time and place to go all Animal Planet with me!” he half-screamed, feeling his patience completely slipping away as he watched the way his bandmate smirked even more. “Get us the hell away from this place before I –“ he was cut half-way when Jun raised his hand in apparent surrender.

 

He was still muttering ‘bugger bugger’ under his breath when Jun all but smirked and reached to grab his flashlight before holding his hand out in a gesture that promptly made him scowl.

 

“Lead the way, then,”

 

He marched forward, all the while trying his hardest not to scream.

 

3.

 

He wasn’t sure how in god’s name Jun knew this place as if it wasn’t the first time he’d been here.

 

But since he wasn’t in the position to ask (again), he kept quiet and just opted on following Jun wherever the younger man went, all the while feeling like an overgrown puppy tailing after his mother. His toes felt like they’re swelling, his legs felt stiff from walking endlessly; in other times, he might even think of complimenting Jun’s stamina, because the younger man didn’t seem to mind walking around forever and ever, but he’s tired and his stomach’s been bitching at him for about half an hour now. Around an hour after, Jun stopped abruptly, his face almost colliding against the younger man’s back.

 

“We’re here,” Jun muttered, raising his flashlight and pointing it to what looked like a small entrance to a cave. “We’re going to spend the night here, then we go and find our way down to where I hope the guys are still waiting for us, tomorrow before sunrise,” Jun said, leading the way and checking the inside of the cave carefully, pointing and pointing his flashlight before he beckoned Sho over. “It’s fine, you go in first,”

 

He cringed. “No. _You_ go in first,” damn. Didn’t Jun know how much of a coward he was when it came to these kinds of things? And no, he didn’t care if he’d be teased about this even on national television – hell, that wouldn’t matter as long as they made it home in one piece.

 

Jun must have seen the genuine terror in his face because the next thing he realized, Jun was tugging at his elbow and he was being lead forward, Jun’s gentle grip against his skin was somewhat the most comforting thing he’d ever felt the whole day.

 

“Don’t be such a pansy, Sho-san,” Jun said but it lacked the usual teasing and instead, Sho could swear it had been spoken a little softer, gentler even. “I am here; I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you, so quit the whining and get inside before we get spotted by some big, wild bears,” he said, the last bit was even spoken with soft laughter that Sho couldn’t help but crack a smile, feeling the sudden warmth creeping up his cheeks.

 

He wasn’t sure if the blushing was because of embarrassment, or if it was because of what Jun just said.

 

He brushed the thought aside and stepped inside.

 

4.

 

He was going to kill Aiba himself the next time he saw the man.

 

Well, it wasn’t just because he was the reason why he and Sho were stranded here, but because his bandmate – bandmates, actually – were nothing but a bunch of mingling bastards who didn’t have anything better to do with their lives.

 

He was pretty sure this was the idea of that scheming, loud-mouthed brat, but there was no way he could mention it now to Sho, was there? He didn’t want to piss the older man off more than he’s already so pissed about everything, not to mention the fact that Sho didn’t deserve all these; he could very well do something about his ‘feelings’ for Sho on his own, and his bandmate’s mingling only made things a lot more complicated to deal with now.

 

“It’s freezing here, god,” Sho muttered from his left where he’s trying his best to lay down the one and only sleeping bag Jun was able to bring with him, shivering as he was doing so. Jun felt a little better knowing that no matter what, Sho was with him, and that he didn’t have to worry about losing the older man over some wild animal or over the older man’s occasional stupidity.

 

Then his gaze moved to the sleeping bag and felt himself groan at the fact that – “Oh, we only have one sleeping bag,” Sho said, realizing it too; Jun’s heart was suddenly leaping up to his throat when Sho froze for a split second before the older man shrugged his sloppy shoulders. “Oh well, let’s just share then,”

 

Damn. It.

 

He cleared his throat and busied himself to rummaging his own backpack in search for something to eat; Sho at least still had his half-full jug of water because they’ve only managed to finish the two bottles of water he also managed to bring along himself.

 

There was a small Ziploc bag filled with snickers, granola bars and gummy bear candies (all were courtesy of his stupid, mingling bandmates) and Jun couldn’t help but grimaced at the contents if not for the fact that those were way better than nothing; and since he wasn’t the one who packed this bag, and was just thrown at him when he, Ohno, Nino and Aiba had decided to split up in order to find Sho faster (but was sure it was just another stupid ploy to make him go on his own, because he was sure the bastards had gone back the minute he was out of sight to make themselves comfortable while he was finding Sho), he couldn’t really find enough reasons to complain now. A few more rummaging and he found his breath freshener spray (thankfully), two spare boxers, two white shirts, and, fuck – a pack of condom and a bottle of lube.

 

He swore to god he’s going to kill Nino too.

 

He shoved the filthy things somewhere where the chances of them  being seen again were at the slightest, feeling a bit better when he finally straightened up to throw the bag filled of sweets towards Sho’s way.

 

“Dinner, Sho-san?” he asked just as Sho thankfully managed to grab the bag in time, smiling when he saw the contents from outside the transparent plastic bag.

 

“Ah, thank God!” Sho exclaimed, already reaching inside the bag and grabbing a few bars excitedly like a kid opening his gifts on Christmas day. “I’m starving!” the older man grumbled, taking a quick bite from the granola bar and munching.

 

He realized he’d been staring at the older man’s face for far too long when Sho looked up and smiled hesitantly back at him.

 

“Jun?” Sho called, and Jun felt something in his chest rattled, must be the sound of his heart breaking into tiny pieces, because even now, Sho still looked at him the same way he’s been looking at him eversince – like a friend, like a co-worker, and nothing else. “Aren’t you going to eat something?”

 

He brushed that tiny part of him who wanted to say a lot of things aside, knowing that now’s not the right time for anything remotely, well, sappy. He helped himself with a smile he knew he only reserved for this man, and felt his heart ached even more at the reality that no matter what, he’s not going to get the same thing back.

 

“Fine, gimme one,”

 

Sho threw him a snickers bar and went back to munching his second one.

 

5.

 

It felt ten kinds of awkward trying to find a comfortable position without ending up elbowing Jun in the process.

 

Jun kept himself still while he pretty much squirmed around a few times till he’s sure he’s not crowding Jun so much, the chilling sensation of being out here for so long was making his chin tremble. He kept his pants and socks on, so was Jun (because maybe Jun was afraid their cold toes might brush against one another), but it’s still a hundred times awkward than having to lie on their own separate futons, with their bandmates somewhere on either of their sides.

 

“You don’t have to stay that far away, Sho-san,” Jun commented drily as he turned to his side and kept himself there. “It’s freezing here, and you know we need all the heat we can get, and since we’re the only ones here, and we didn’t even know how to make a fire to at least keep us warm, might as well get that from each other’s bodies, don’t you think?” Jun added, his tone entirely serious but Sho was sure there was some hidden sarcasm in there somewhere.

 

He stubbornly stayed where he was, ignoring the obvious jibe riding Jun’s tone.

 

“Goodnight, Matsumoto-san,”

 

Jun chuckled in return but didn’t say anything.

 

6.

 

They weren’t able to leave the safety of the cave came morning because by the time they woke up, it was raining hard.

 

It was even darker than the night they took refuge in here, and if not for the watch on Jun’s right wrist, they wouldn’t even believe that it was actually half past ten in the morning already. Jun said it’d be impossible to leave now, what with the combined problems of finding their way out of this forest because of the unexpected darkness and heavy rains.

 

“We can’t just stay here and do nothing, Jun-kun,” he said from where he’s checking out the entrance to their temporary home, now filled with rainwater and grimaced at the thought of that water ending up flowing where they were staying. He thankfully managed to get their bags and sleeping bag somewhere safe (from getting wet) while Jun was doing a fair impersonation of a caveman by trying to make fire out of rubbing two stones he found a while ago.

 

“Well I’m not going to indulge you by coming out there with you, so you can forget about it,” Jun answered brusquely, his concentration still focused on his stones and the little dry leaves and twigs he’d gathered in a pile in front of him. “Besides, the possibility of getting lost is even higher now that it’s raining hard, and I’m not that stupid to risk both our lives trying to find our way out just because you can’t be bothered to be patient for once,”

 

He’s scowling before he even realized it, but either way, Jun was right; the only problem here was he himself, and his fucking ego that wasn’t used to being stomped that way.

 

He straightened up and cursed under his breath, ignoring the way Jun had stopped rubbing the stones together in favor of checking him out.

 

He’d got one foot outside the cave when Jun spoke. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” the younger man hissed from his spot.

 

He waved a hand behind him, still scowling. “I’m going to take a bath,” he answered lamely, knowing that he’d probably going to suffer from hypothermia by going out there but he didn’t care. “ – got a problem with that?” he followed, but he didn’t have any intention of hearing what Jun had to say back as he crossed the threshold and went outside.

 

He hadn’t even made it far when the next step he made, he ended up stubbing his toes into something hard and huge, losing his footing at the same instant and stumbling forward with a gut-wrenching scream.

 

7.

 

“Fuck,” he hissed, instantly on his feet the minute he heard Sho’s loud yells, grabbing his flashlight and not bothering putting on his shoes. It was still very dark outside, the rain was still pounding hard and he couldn’t see a damn thing, swerving his flashlight around and cursing repeatedly under his breath. He couldn’t hear Sho anymore, just the loud sound of the water hitting the stones beneath his feet combined with the thumping of his own heart against his ribcage. “Sho-san! Sho, where are you?” he screamed as he stepped outside carefully; his pulse was racing and it didn’t help that he couldn’t hear anything aside from the spluttering sounds of water hitting everything around him.

 

He turned to his right, heart on his throat and shivering; he was drenched with rainwater but it didn’t matter, not until –

 

“Sho!” he yelled, finally spotting the older man lying obviously unconscious next to a fallen branch of tree. He was by Sho’s side in an instant, lifting the older man’s head carefully. “Sho?” he called, shaking the older man’s shoulder gently and feeling like his breath had been temporarily robbed from him when his hand touched a big lump on the back of Sho’s head.

 

And Sho wasn’t responding no matter how many times he called his name.

 

8.

 

It was a good thing they’ve been trained once all throughout their careers about doing first-aid that he was able to determine that Sho wasn’t near to dying or anything.

 

Although he had to actually carry the man inside their temporary home because Sho was still pretty much unconscious, and even though he was taller than the older man, Sho’s body wasn’t exactly the same as Nino’s. And god, wasn’t he heavy, and Jun had to literally drag the older man as careful as he could to avoid injuring them both.

 

He all  but shed all his clothing (they were wet and dripping), but not before he’s managed to relieved Sho off his own, wincing when he realized Sho was burning up. He toweled the older man’s body dry, careful not to look at the toned and very much naked body of the man he not only loved but also desired (all in secret, shut up!), and wishing he was strong enough not to touch or –

 

“ _Nggh_ –“ Sho groaned, and Jun found himself feeling a bit relieved that Sho was at least half-conscious, reaching over to touch Sho’s temple, face and neck, groaning once more before the older man closed his eyes and fell completely still again.

 

Jun knew there was no other way to go about things now but the Domyouji-Makino way – only with less clothing and they had to share an even smaller space compared to the god-forsaken elevator where his and Inoue Mao’s characters were stuck together for the whole night.

 

Plus the fact that he’d have to share this cramp space with the man who he’d been lusting over for almost his entire, miserable adult life, while trying his best not to get hard just by thinking about lying completely naked next to an equally naked Sho.

 

He’d just have to tell himself that he’s doing this to save his bandmate’s stupid ass, and he knew he’d be fine.

 

“I only hope I wake up before you do, Sho-san,” he told the sleeping man, slipping next to him and sliding his arm under Sho’s head, pulling Sho closer; Sho hummed at the sudden change of position, curling his fingers against Jun’s chest as he nuzzled the crook of Jun’s  neck, like a child seeking his mother’s warmth. “Just to minimize the chances of further embarrassing myself when you realize I tried this lame thing with you,” he said, allowing himself to relax as Sho fitted himself against him, murmuring soft nothings against his neck.

 

He curled his arms around the other man’s and prayed to god Sho wouldn’t die on him while he’s asleep.

 

9.

 

He woke up with a headache the size of the moon and his body felt like they were being held down by something heavy and warm.

 

It was heavy and warm alright, because he realized Jun was wrapped around him like a very affectionate koala, arms around his waist and legs tangled against his own. It’s warm, too warm, and it wasn’t just because it was probably already mid-day, what with the rays of sunshine hitting him straight in the face but because –

 

He was hugging Jun back as if his life depended on it; his face was stuck in the hollow space between Jun’s neck and shoulder, and naked.

 

… and if he didn’t know better, he could bet Jun was naked too.

 

It took him a long moment before he was able to command himself to move, shifting a little to extricate Jun’s arms off him but he realized it would take a lot of shifting, a lot of moving that he’d eventually wake Jun up in the process.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” he hissed under his breath, because Jun chose that moment to move onto his side, arms tightening around him even more as Jun nuzzled at his hair before his breathing evened out again. It’s warm but it’s comfortable here inside Jun’s arms, as he tried remembering how in hell he ended up in here when he was sure –

 

“ – oh shit,” he gasped, his thoughts flying in different directions because when Jun shifted, something hard and warm poked him on the leg, and he was given exactly two seconds to gape before Jun’s hips surged upwards, dragging his cock alongside Sho’s thighs in the process.

 

“Oh,” a moan escaped his lips before he could even stop it, loud enough that the sound itself was enough to wake the dead – or in this case, his sleeping, naked bandmate.

 

Jun visibly stilled against him, and he felt as though the world also stopped spinning as Jun very slowly pulled himself away, arms, legs and all, as far away as the sleeping bag would allow him – which wasn’t very far, if he was going to be completely honest about it.

 

There wasn’t a chance to even ask Jun why in hell they were naked and wrapped around each other like a newly-wed couple, because the next time he tried to open his mouth, Jun was scrambling out of the sleeping bag and grabbing his discarded clothes, leaving him behind as fast as Jun’s legs would allow him.

 

10.

 

“Damn damn damn damn,” he cursed repeatedly, and if it was possible to kick himself too, he would have probably done it already; he’s so stupid, didn’t he warned himself last night about waking up before Sho? “Damn it,” he muttered, doing up his pants with trembling fingers before running those said fingers through his hair, smoothing the strands absently.

 

He was sure he hadn’t gone out here for long when he heard the sounds of footsteps from behind him.

 

He didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Sho.

 

“M-Matsumoto-san, I…”

 

He did a quarter turn, putting on a tight smile. “That was the most stupid thing you have ever done in your life, Sho-san,” he accused the man through gritted teeth, eyes focusing on Sho’s. “A little more to the left and you could have died when you hit your head in that fallen tree, and did you know I have to carry you back to the cave because you were unconscious? You had a fever and we don’t have a single medicine with us to treat you, and I don’t know what else to do so I –“

 

“Thank you,” Sho said, very quietly that it almost got lost in between the noises Jun’s heart was making, in between the fact that his blood was pounding hard through his ears. “A-And I’m sorry; It was my fault, I’m sorry,” Sho said, bowing low; there wasn’t any hint of contemplation there, and if Jun was to be completely honest about it, Sho looked like he was nothing but grateful.

 

Well, damn it.

 

He crossed the distance between them and pulled the older man to him, allowed himself the luxury to hug Sho tightly.

 

“Don’t ever fucking do that again, or so help me, I’ll –“ he hissed into Sho’s hair, stopping himself just in time before he said something he knew would just add another impenetrable wall between them; Sho simply stayed still, letting him and letting him, and he wished he was brave enough to say the things he’d been wanting to say for so long without stumbling on the words like he knew would happen the minute he allowed himself to say them.

 

It’s so hard, loving Sho so much and not being able to say so, and being here with the older man made it a thousand times harder than when they were with other people, because here, he could – he wanted to – pretend that Sho wasn’t just grateful he had saved his life, that Sho –

 

“J-Jun,” Sho hummed back, face buried against his shoulder. “ – a-aren’t we heading back?” he asked tentatively.

 

Jun allowed himself a few seconds of this before he pulled back completely, was about to nod his agreement when they were a good few centimeters away from each other when there was a sudden white flash from the sky, thunder following shortly after.

 

“I don’t think so,” he mumbled, taking Sho’s hand and tugging him back to their temporary home. “At least not yet,”

 

11.

 

He was sure he was going to confront Jun, was going to ask him what the fuck just happened there but the minute Jun opened his mouth, he was lost.

 

He could never un-see that, the look on Jun’s face when the younger man turned to yell at him, the tone of his voice completely negating what was written on Jun’s eyes; he remembered seeing the same look on Jun’s face, back then when Aiba had collapsed in front of them in the middle of an intense dance practice – only this time Jun was trying to be subtle about it.

 

He stared at the their clasped hand, doubling his steps as Jun kept tugging at him, slanting his eyes to the skies when the first drops of rain hit him on the face.

 

“ – the hell,” he muttered, glaring at the dark skies that seemed to be mocking him from above.

 

Jun tugged at his hand firmly. “Yeah.. walk faster please,”

 

And he did.

 

12.

 

 Jun was at least able to start the fire after almost an hour of rubbing those stones together.

 

Outside, it started raining hard again. They realized they were down to the last few bars of snickers but at least they were able to fill the two empty bottles and Sho’s small jug by rainwater, so now the only problem was to figure out where to get some food if the rain continued, and they had to stay here for a little bit longer.

He and Jun were sitting side by side in front of the fire in companionable silence, with Jun occasionally throwing little dry twigs and leaves just to keep the fire going; he found a stick about the length of his arm that he’s using to poke at the twigs Jun had thrown but hadn’t made it to the center of the fire helpfully.

 

It was warm, at the very least, warm and comfortable even though it shouldn’t be, because they’re practically trapped in here without knowing when they can leave; he wouldn’t want to suggest going out there and try their luck, mostly because of what happened to him the night before and besides, he did promise Jun he’d be careful, right?

 

It was still quiet, save from the sounds coming from the fire itself and he found himself turning to his right to check Jun out; he was relieved to find that Jun’s expression had softened somehow, the worried crease in between his eyebrows had been temporarily erased while he’s watching the fire he’d successfully managed to make.

 

He’s so beautiful, he thought dazedly, watching his younger bandmate’s solemn face as he followed the movements of his own hands, staring at the fire as if it was something worth watching; he was momentarily awed at the way Jun’s sometimes bit at his lips, and at the way the tips of Jun’s eyelashes turned golden as he leaned a bit over, resting his chin against his folded arms.

 

“Do you know why I was the one who found you first?” Jun said after a long beat without looking up, startling him a bit; he turned and faced Jun fully, his question evident in the way he was staring at his bandmate, drinking the unusual stance in Jun’s usually confident form.

 

Jun blinked and shifted a little so he could face him, and he could’ve sworn his heart took a leap to his throat when Jun murmured,

 

“ – because I was the only one who came looking for you, Sho-san,”

 

13.

 

He wasn’t planning on this, not really, but after a while of sitting beside Sho and thinking of the many things they’ve been through together (as bandmates, of course), he knew there was no getting away from the fact that he loved Sho so much it hurts.

 

No one would know if they were going to make it home alive (and he hoped they would, or else he’d be forced to hunt their bandmates’ asses even from his grave) so he figured this was his chance to say what had been on his mind for so long now. Besides, wasn’t this the reason why his stupid, mingling bandmates shoved him off to find Sho?

 

He hadn’t meant for it to sound like he was joking because then he heard the tell-tale sound of Sho’s muffled laughter even though he couldn’t see his face. His heart ached in all the worst possible ways as he buried his face against his arm, felt the warm, almost unfamiliar feel of his own tears dripping on his skin.

 

“Jun, what are you trying to –“

 

“I love you, you know?” there, he’d said it, even though it sounded muffled, even though he wasn’t sure if Sho was listening. “I know it might look like I was forced to come after you, but really, it’s not; they told me we would go, all four of us to find you but I’m sure they hadn’t gone at all. And even if they didn’t told me to, I’d go, because there was no way I could stay there with them knowing that you’re lost on your own; I had to go and find you, because.. because…” a hand closed around his elbow, and another grabbing him around the back of his neck, and then there was Sho’s lips against his, soft and yet firm, kissing him, his hands grounding him.

 

“Oh, Sho-san,” he moaned through Sho’s mouth, stumbled to get his hands on Sho and kissed him back.

 

14.

 

This was probably how it felt to have finally got your hands into something you had no idea you’ve been wanting all your life.

 

He wasn’t sure this was what he wanted until his body moved on its own accord and leaned in forward to catch the words stumbling out of Jun’s mouth in a rush, keeping his hands around the younger man as he kissed him fiercely; there might be a moment of indecision on either side, but then it was completely wiped out when Jun moaned his name and kissed him back.

 

He tasted divine, and god, he didn’t know he’d been craving for this until his mouth met Jun’s; he was struggling to keep them both upright without having to break the momentum, without having to snatch his mouth away from Jun’s as much as he could.

 

“Sho-san, _Sho-san_ ,” Jun was murmuring deliriously through his mouth, eyes closed and shifting closer, tugging him by the shoulders, by his hair, and the sounds he was making was probably the most erotic sounds he’s ever heard in his life; he placed a hand down the small of Jun’s back, letting his fingers slip under the hem of Jun’s shirt and feeling Jun’s body jerking at the first touch of his fingers against bare skin.

 

He wanted Jun so much he could die.

 

Jun’s hands flew to the front of his pants and he was at least coherent enough to notice that they were still near the fire, catching Jun’s wrist and kissing Jun’s jaw, trailing his mouth to underside of Jun’s ear.

 

Jun’s fingers stilled on the front of his pants and he swore he saw something passed through Jun’s eyes, and he quickly regretted having to stop the younger man, but it had to be done.

 

He kissed Jun one more time. “Not here, Jun,” he whispered, following it with another thorough kiss. Jun kissed him back distractedly. He pulled away, closed his hands around Jun’s arms and tugged the younger man towards their shared sleeping bag.

 

Jun looked almost ready to cry again by the time he had managed to drag Jun next to the sleeping bag, fingers flying to Jun’s hair.

 

“Here, okay?”

 

Jun leaned in this time, mouth meeting his.

 

15.

 

It’s clumsy and messy, the way all first-times were supposed to be but he wasn’t complaining; his body was sore and it was so different from the soreness brought about by intense rehearsals and practice, his eyes were beginning to droop on their own. But he didn’t want to sleep just yet, because the delicious feel of Sho’s arms around him was something he hoped wasn’t just a figment of his imagination, taking the arm that was wrapped around his chest and leaning down to drop a soft kiss against it.

 

Neither of them had yet to say something about this, but he figured it was okay; he didn’t know what to answer if ever Sho started asking the questions anyway and he thought that now’s still not the best time for that.

 

Or not.

 

“Shall we talk about this?” Sho whispered, saying the words directly against his skin because Sho had been nuzzling the back of his neck since forever ago; he could feel the way Sho’s brought his other arm to wrap it around his waist, pulling him closer, his back hitting the older man’s warm, sturdy chest.

 

He ducked his head and dropped another languid kiss against Sho’s arm. “I-If you like,”

 

Sho let out another chuckle. “Aren’t you going to look at me while we talk?” Sho teased, nudging him by his side that he ended up squirming. “Come on Jun-kun, don’t be shy,”

 

He was not, he’s just, well – “I’m not shy,” he muttered, but still refused to turn around no matter how many times Sho persuaded him to; he’d given up that one thing that girls usually reserved for the one and only man they loved and Sho’s being a royal ass about it (plus, he’s obviously not a girl so he supposed being stubborn was a given).

 

Sho kissed the side of his neck and he felt himself shiver at the gesture. “But I want to be looking at you when I tell you how I feel about you, too,”

 

16.

 

It was surprising, how fast Jun turned in his arms when he’d said those words out loud.

 

And it was equally surprising how good it felt to finally say it, crushing Jun into his chest and kissing the top of Jun’s head as he waited for Jun’s shaking to subside; his chest was already drenched with Jun’s tears, and he could feel the side of his own eyes prickled warmly, wiping it off with his arm without dislodging his hold around Jun.

 

When Jun finally calmed down enough to pull away, he tugged Jun back with a firm hand around Jun’s elbow, leaning forward to kiss Jun’s cheek tenderly. Jun’s face was warm and soft beneath his lips, so different from a woman’s, but so much better. He moved his kisses to the tips of Jun’s nose, then to both of Jun’s eyes, feeling the flutter of Jun’s pretty eyelashes against his own cheeks when he dipped his head to rest his face against Jun’s.

 

So pretty, he thought wildly as he ran his fingers along the nape of Jun’s neck, felt the tremors ran across the surface of Jun’s skin when he leaned in to have a little taste; Jun keened and leaned in to the touch, still sniffling, still as pretty as he was when he made love to him moments ago.

“You’re seriously like a girl,” he commented teasingly as he continued peppering tiny kisses across Jun’s shoulder, fingers running through Jun’s hair. “ – my pretty, pretty girl,” he mused, squeaking when Jun all but moved so quickly and jabbed him on the rib. “What?”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be saying something to me now, instead of acting like a complete jerk?” Jun was muttering against his chest, fingers moving down in between them, finding him hard and ready for Jun; he’s smiling despite being so aroused it was borderline painful, taking Jun’s face in between his hands and catching Jun’s mouth into another deep kiss.

 

“God, I –“ he paused and moaned through Jun’s mouth, kissing Jun’s lips hungrily; Jun kissed him back, hurriedly, and the intoxicating aftertaste of Jun’s kisses was driving him insane. He didn’t know he was arching his body in time to the flex of Jun’s fingers, sucking on Jun’s tongue as Jun allowed him in.

 

His body was moving on its own again, pulling himself up and covering Jun’s  body, still kissing Jun fiercely when he heard some very distinct, familiar voices calling them from somewhere outside their temporary home.

 

“Sho-chan? Matsujun? Hellooooo! Are you guys okay? Hello???”

 

Jun was pushing him away faster than he would have anticipated.

 

“Shit, they’re here,” Jun cursed, grabbing for their clothes and handing him his own; he was still mostly distraught when he felt Jun’s hand against his face, and Jun’s lips against his own.

 

“We’re going home, Sho-chan, come on,” Jun said.

 

The only thing he could do was follow.

 

17.

 

Trust Nino to know just when to use his smart brain of his.

 

He wasn’t sure how they were found, but judging with the way Nino’s been parading his smug ‘I’m-awesome’ face, he figured it was better to leave it be; besides, he was entirely positive he wouldn’t be able to call Nino out on it when it was obvious that Sho wasn’t done cursing their bandmates – most especially Aiba and Nino – to oblivion even when they were already safely tucked inside the company’s van, with food and warm jacket and wonderful coffee sitting right in front of them.

 

Nino was squished against their Leader’s side, smiling sheepishly while Sho took his attention to chastising Aiba further this time, who was then quietly dozing against their Leader’s other side (and obviously used to Sho’s nagging that something like this wasn’t bothering him anymore).

 

He and Sho were sitting side by side, Sho’s warmth seeping through the fabric of Sho’s borrowed jacket; he’s got his hands cupped around the mug, taking appreciative sips while he was trying to tune Sho’s nagging out.

 

It was hard.

 

Considering the fact that his body’s now reacting to every little bump, every accidental touches that he found it really difficult to concentrate on being grateful, on  being thankful that their bandmates had found them before he and Sho were near to dying because of hunger (or god forbid, because of something else entirely).

 

But it was really difficult not to think of the things he and Sho might have enjoyed doing there in the cave if his bandmates just waited for at least another hour, or at least another whole night before they came looking for them.

 

“Right, you really didn’t have to thank us for rescuing you because it’s so obvious that the two of you, or at least one of you two would have preferred it if we didn’t come at all,” Nino said, taking the words from Jun’s mouth and saying them out loud.

 

Damn nuisance of a – “Oh,” Leader said, arching one fine brow at them and chuckling under his breath. “So that’s it, huh?”

 

Nino took their Leader’s free arm and threw it across his shoulder, leaning up to lick at Ohno’s chin.

 

“Yes, Oh-chan,” he said, ignoring the way that he’s staring at the two of them with wide, wide eyes, and Sho stopping to grab his own mug to drink his coffee, probably to keep himself from screaming. “That means they were the only ones who enjoyed this wildlife adventure by taking that cave’s virginity and having fantastic sex while they’re there,”

 

He and Sho choked on their respective coffees, while Ohno leaned down to kiss his boyfriend’s nose.

 

“Wrong,” Ohno said around an indulgent smile, tapping Nino’s cheek fondly. “We were the ones who took that cave’s virginity four years ago when we first came here, or did you already forget?” Ah. So that’s how Nino knew the way to the cave. Interesting.

 

Nino grinned back. “Oh. So you did remember.”

 

Sho threw his hands up in the air before Ohno could even reply. “I swear to god, you guys are the worst!”

 

18.

 

It was going to take them about three more hours before they reached Tokyo.

 

The lights inside the van had been turned off since he and Jun had finished their first real meal; Aiba was sprawled asleep on the seat behind the driver, Ohno and Nino were the same, slumped against each other on the next seat behind Aiba. He and Jun were thankfully left to themselves on the very back of the van, the comforting warmth of Jun’s leg and arm brushing against his at the van’s every movement was tempting enough that the thought of grabbing Jun’s face and pushing him on his back against the van’s seat was driving him completely crazy.

 

But he couldn’t because next to him, he was fairly sure Jun was asleep.

 

So it wasn’t surprising that he almost jumped out of his skin when Jun spoke, albeit in a very low voice.

 

“You’re not sleeping,” Jun said matter-of-factly, twisting his head sideways to properly look at him. “Aren’t you tired, Sho-san?”

 

He was, but he didn’t think he’d be able to rest fully when Jun’s so near he could touch him, but he knew he couldn’t; he didn’t know whether it’s still allowed.

 

He shook his head. “Not really,” he said, watching the streetlights dancing across Jun’s sharp features, while he tried to keep his hands to himself. “I know you are so go ahead,” he said, waving his hand into the space next to Jun. “You can lie down, make yourself comfortable; I’ll be fine,” he said, all the while feeling like the world’s biggest idiot for looking down when Jun’s eyes were obviously trained on his face, reading his expression for him.

 

He was half-expecting Jun to shrug his shoulders and did as he’s told, but what he didn’t expect was the surprisingly soft touch of Jun’s lips against his own, and Jun’s warm hands on his legs as he pushed himself closer to him, invading his personal space like he have all the right to.

 

But come to think of it, after what had happened to them back in the cave, Jun must have known he kinda did – Jun’s got all the right to invade his personal space whenever he wanted and it was alright.

 

But first, “I love you,” he said once he’d successfully pulled his mouth away from Jun’s, hands on either side of Jun’s face; he’d have to say it now before Jun completely break him down again, before Jun successfully take his ability to put his thoughts into words away again.

 

They’re staring at each other’s eyes now, and he could swear something inside him clicked into place when Jun smiled at him like he had been waiting his entire life only for this – only to hear the words he’d said seconds ago.

 

“I love you, Ma-chan,” he repeated, fondly, lovingly tracing Jun’s face with the tips of his fingers and grinning at the way it made Jun smiled back bashfully. “That’s okay, yeah?”

 

Jun didn’t answer but the way he leaned in to press their mouths together had told him just enough.

 

He leaned up and pressed his mouth against Jun’s temple just as Jun reached down to take his hand on his, lacing their fingers together.

 

“Yeah,” Jun whispered back as they leaned against each other; “ – that’s just fine, Sho-chan,”

 

EXTRA.1

 

He felt a gentle brush against the front of his pants, wicked small fingers hovering over the zip of his jeans when he popped one eye open.

 

“What’re you doing?”

 

He knew Nino just smirked even without actually seeing Nino’s face. “Hmm,” Nino hummed, palming him through his pants. “J and Sho-chan are totally going to do it back there,”

 

He reached out to grab Nino’s wrist when Nino’s fingers very clearly wanted in. “No they won’t,” he mumbled, “ – and stop that, okay? I’m not letting you – shit!”

 

Nino giggled. “No handjob eh? What if I tell you I’d use my mouth instead?”

 

He smacked Nino lightly. “You shut that mouth, Kazu. We’re almost home, save that for later,”

 

“Hmph,”

 

EXTRA.2

 

“I want to kiss you some more,” he moaned, taking Jun’s hands in his with a scowl. “But damn, I can’t –“

 

Jun chuckled. “Patience, Sho-chan,” Jun said with a wink, his wriggling his other free hand and letting it travel down down down.

 

Sho groaned. “Fuck it, I’m going to kiss you,” he insisted, tugging Jun to him.

 

“OH-CHAN I TOLD YOU THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT BACK THERE!”

 

“Kazu, shut up!”

 

  


End file.
